Okay so very very recently I decided that I was going to live with a positive lifestyle and do everything in my power to spread that happiness around. I used to be like this, but for some reason, I lost that joy.
You might see me posting things about loving who you are and all that stuff. The reason behind that is this:
I grew up with no self-esteem. I felt out of place in my family because I felt that they were all perfect and that I was a mess. My dad’s temper flared up everytime I screwed up and that just made me feel more of a worthless failure. As I got older, I started to feel an emptiness within me. I wanted desperately to connect with someone, anyone; I threw my whole heart into every relationship/friendship that came my way and was constantly hurt and let down. In middle school, some of my “friends” would even talk behind my back about how ugly and weird I was (I was already kind of self-conscious because I was chubby and I had bad acne). In 6th grade I began to self-harm. I didn’t cut because I feared my mom would find out somehow and overreact. So, I began to scratch. I scratched everywhere; legs, wrists, hands, arms, stomach…It wouldn’t hurt. I felt relieved. 7th grade, I began to think about suicide. How, when, where…I decided I would cut my wrists…but I never followed through with it. I hid my depression from everyone around me; it wasn’t difficult because no one was close enough to me to notice anyway.
Then, in 8th grade I met someone. Long story short, she changed my life. She’s my best friend. She introduced me to my faith which saved me.
I know what it’s like to feel worthless, unloved…no one deserves that. No one should feel that way. Which is why I make it my mission to make sure I can help as many people possible. Because we are all worth something. We all have a purpose here. We all have a reason to live.
Smile and love.
Doing those two things will bring happiness to your world.